1. Overcompensation
This side effect pretty much encompasses the entire list, but can be spotted through a few simple behaviors. Men who have tiny pen1ses normally over compensate by attempting to own expensive things. For example, a man driving a Ferrari probably has a really small d1ck. By driving a fancy car, a man is pretty much saying, “HEY! Focus on the car, NOT my small pen1s! PLEASE!” If a man feels the need to wave his money in your face, then he is more than likely the owner of an undersized package. A man with a normal pen1s knows that once the time comes for you to see see his pen1s, it will not be a disappointment, and he will not need other tactics such as bribery to keep you around.
2. Vehicles with a lift aka “PIMPED Up Trucks”
This category of men is probably suffering the most, actually. As I like to say, “the bigger the lift, the smaller the d1ck.” A man’s pen1s also grows smaller with every inch of camouflage that lines his interior and/or ignorant stickers that refer to the truck they are stuck on. These men usually exert their frustrations with their small pen1s by revving their engine for no reason. A man with a small pen1s lets his vehicle serve as his pen1s. If you need further explanation regarding this topic you can refer to any country song, ever.
3. Unwarranted rage and/or jealousy
Is he jealous when it comes to other men? Or your friends? Or your family? Or your pet? Seriously, I have witnessed my friends’ boyfriends get mad at them about spending time with their family and friends when, apparently, they should have been fondling his tiny d1ck. Unexplained jealousy and rage are a tell tale signs of a small pen1s, and you should avoid a man with this behavior at all cost. Being the man attached to a small pen1s is an insecure role; he probably imagines your need for a real pen1s, and gets very self-conscious in thinking that you’re always out trying to find one. 24/7. Unless you’re at home, with him, or in his truck or Ferrari.
4. Men who are obsessed with their appearance
Men who spend more time grooming themselves than you need to be tattooed with “small pen1s.” Seriously, if a guy is trying really hard to amp up his game in the looks department, it usually means that you’ll be disappointed when you search for an er3ction but find a troll of a pen1s. Signs of this symptom include: tanning, hair gel; tedious/ridiculous gym schedule; any type of silk garment; tight, flared jeans (really any clothing that can be described as “too tight”); and shaving his arms/legs/back in an attempt to resemble a seal.
5. Refusing to relate to anything feminine
Men who refuse to relate to anything feminine are probably doing so because their micropen1s leaves them feeling like less of a man than it should. Being overly grossed out by periods, denouncing chick flicks, claiming that females cannot be funny, and refusing to do “womanly” activities are a few side effects of this symptom. Your man isn’t a “manly man” just because he hates chick flicks; in fact, he’s probably less of a man than the boyfriend that readily admits to enjoying things that his significant other enjoys (and having s3x with them with a real pen1s.) Nothing solidifies a man’s comfort in his own skin like partaking in anything, whether it’s “feminine” or not. Just because you help with household chores, enjoy watching Girls or even help decorate the house, doesn’t mean you’re any less of a man.
6. He’s dramatic
Men with small pen1ses usually house lots of pent-up frustration (due to the fact that they have small pen1ses), and get annoyed by any and everything. A man that has more drama than an episode of The OC can easily be diagnosed with small pen1s syndrome. If a man is constantly having drama with his friends, or bitching to you about the stresses of his everyday life then he is more than likely a victim of an undergrown pen1s. A stable man with a good pen1s doesn’t have to worry about the petty drama that life brings; after all, he has a great pen1s, damnit! (We all know that’s what the male psyche boils down to.)
7. Being a “player”
Some of the men who have the most s3x suffer from small pen1s syndrome. These men try to spin the story in their favor and claim that they have so much s3x because they’re game is undeniable; however, most of the time when men only have consecutive one night stands, it’s because the your partner was left unsatisfied by their teeny pene. Most of the “players” that I’ve hooked up with have the smallest pen1ses, and the guys whom they usually mock tend to out-perform them 100% in the bedroom. Sorry, bro, that “freak” in the band has a way bigger pen1s than you, and deep down, you know this. So go ahead and tell the world that you’re infamous for never calling girls back or being with a different person every night, but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter because… small pen1s.
courtesy to sources.
BEDROOM GOSSIP: HERE IS HOW TO TELL IF A WOMAN HAS A BIG OR SMALL V@GINA.
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